How my Introvert Tendencies Affect My Music Career?

I feel as though I’ve become increasingly introverted as of late. 

I want to blame it on my practice, and that I’ve been dedicating a non-trivial amount of time toward getting better. I know deep down that that cannot be the only thing. 

I want to blame it on growing older. In growing more in tune with myself, I recognize the things I need to feel ready to enter the world. I’ve never needed to validate my lifestyle by going out, but It’s not just the time I spend at home that has me thinking; it’s more so the amount of time I spend alone, doing the things that I enjoy rather than feeling pressure to socialize. 

It’s also never been easy for me to reach out to friends to come into my space, so I end up alone in my space by default. I don’t necessarily feel any remorse for that particular insecurity, so I don’t think this is what’s keeping me solitary more than usual. 

I want to blame it on my lifestyle, which heavily incorporates going to see live music. You would think that this is automatically social, but I usually find my way to a back corner of the bar after I’ve said my hellos. It’s the minimum amount of social activity I can muster, and I don’t know if I do that on purpose or not. 

I want to blame it on the seasons, but I’m such an indoor cat to begin with! How much does the winter/lack of sun really change me when I’m not often exposed to it in the first place? 

So what could it be, then? I’d love to hear how you feel about reclusion (hiding in the shadows of my studio)

4 comments

  • Riccardo
    Riccardo Claybourne St. (Pittsburgh)
    It looks like the lurking genius of the FeralCat has finally burst like a supernova, expanding and filling the universe with creative music, art, energy, thought — and yes, even love. The Introvert: Artists have to be reclusive because it takes hours and hours of solitary work and tremendous discipline to hone a talent and put it in some kind of order. There's no way around this, and it's way more difficult to find the time and motivation to do this while self-supporting (and forsaking your expensive education that prepared you for a different life) after so much time and effort heading in a different direction. (I should know.) The Extrovert: But then the artist also has to engage with the world, with the public, with friends — otherwise what's the point? The arts (especially music) are about sharing. But there's something about the true artist-genius that doesn't want to waste people's time with trivial re-hash. Friends are probably the most difficult; they often don't 'really' understand the 'who' and 'what' the art is really all about. Why did I just spend the last few hours listening and reading all the stuff on this website? For some reason this music has the same effect on me as when I listen to Schubert, Guastavino, Puccini, Bach, Strauss, Verdi, Mozart, Scelsi, Andrés Cárdenes, and Geri Allen — contact with a soul-nourishing genius and a reminder that world is a good place to be, despite so much evidence, outside the arts, to the contrary. r

    It looks like the lurking genius of the FeralCat has finally burst like a supernova, expanding and filling the universe with creative music, art, energy, thought — and yes, even love.

    The Introvert: Artists have to be reclusive because it takes hours and hours of solitary work and tremendous discipline to hone a talent and put it in some kind of order. There's no way around this, and it's way more difficult to find the time and motivation to do this while self-supporting (and forsaking your expensive education that prepared you for a different life) after so much time and effort heading in a different direction. (I should know.)

    The Extrovert: But then the artist also has to engage with the world, with the public, with friends — otherwise what's the point? The arts (especially music) are about sharing. But there's something about the true artist-genius that doesn't want to waste people's time with trivial re-hash. Friends are probably the most difficult; they often don't 'really' understand the 'who' and 'what' the art is really all about.

    Why did I just spend the last few hours listening and reading all the stuff on this website? For some reason this music has the same effect on me as when I listen to Schubert, Guastavino, Puccini, Bach, Strauss, Verdi, Mozart, Scelsi, Andrés Cárdenes, and Geri Allen — contact with a soul-nourishing genius and a reminder that world is a good place to be, despite so much evidence, outside the arts, to the contrary.

    r

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